Girlfriend 5.0 to W ife 1.0 :)

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User"


REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.
It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this.
I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.
I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0




STATUTORY WARNING


: DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
 

mistakes (part two)

we love ourself even after doing many mistakes.
then
.
.

how can we hate others for their small mistakes
.
.
.
.
.
Strange thought but its true.........!!!!!!!!!!!

Love n Girls

LOVE is the second mistake created by GOd.
Of course girls are the first.
but the fact is that ...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

both are beautiful....!!!!!!!!!!! 

Read it Its really worthful!!!!!!!!!

A story tells that two friends

were walking

through the desert

During some point of the

Journey they had an

Argument, and one friend

Slapped the other one

In the face.

The one who got slapped

was hurt, but without

saying anything,

wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND

SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking

until they found an oasis,

where they decided

to take a bath.

The one who had been

slapped got stuck in the

mire and started drowning,

but the friend saved him.

After he recovered from

the near drowning,

he wrote on a stone:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND

SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped

and saved his best friend

asked him, "After I hurt you,

you wrote in the sand and now,

you write on a stone, why?"

The other friend replied

"When someone hurts us

we should write it down

in sand where winds of

forgiveness can erase it away.

But, when someone does

something good for us,

we must engrave it in stone

where no wind

can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE

YOUR HURTS IN

THE SAND AND TO

CARVE YOUR

BENEFITS IN STONE!!!

They say it takes a

minute to find a special

person, an hour to

appreciate them, a day

to love them, but then

an entire life

to forget them.

Send this phrase to

the people you'll never

forget. If you don't

send it to anyone,

it means you're in a

hurry and that you've

forgotten your friends.

Take the time to live!.
,
,
,
,
,
,
,

Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while ,you might miss it.

mistakes

Do u get angry
 if someone points out your mistakes...

Be happy that atleast someone is interested in what you have done
mostly friends points out the mistakes u have done because they are very much interested on u and care for u

take xtra care

Always take extra care for four things in your life

1.    Trust
2.     Promise
3.     Relationship
4.     Heart

                           Bcoz they dont make noise when they break!!!!!!!!!!
                           so
                                   be carefull

READ THIS ONE..... NICE PHILOSOPHY...

Once A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it.

He held it up for all to see; asked the students, "How much do you think this glass weighs?

'50gms!' ?....'100gms!' .....'125gms' ......the students answered.


'I really don't know unless I weigh it,' said the professor, 'but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?' "Nothing" the students said.


OK what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.

Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students.

You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?' Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis; have to go to hospital for sure! ventured another student ;


All the students laughed.


Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?

Asked the professor. No replied the students Then what caused the arm ache; the muscle stress?' Instead What should I do?

The students were puzzled. Put the glass down! said one of the students.

Exactly!' said the professor' Life's problems are something like this.

Hold it for a few minutes in your head; they seem OK. Think of them for a long time; they begin to ache. Hold it even longer; they begin to paralyze you.


You will not be able to do anything.


It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep.

That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh; strong; can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!

Remember - PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!

Have faith in GOD he will be always be wit us

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the
beach with the Lord.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene,
he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand;
one belonged to him,
and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his
life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints
in the sand. He noticed that many
times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened
at the very lowest and saddest
times in his life.
This really bothered him and he
questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that
once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the
most troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why,
when I needed you most
you would leave me."
The Lord replied,
"My precious,precious child,
I love you and I would never
leave you. During your times
of trial and suffering, when you see
only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

" Some people come into our
lives and quickly go ...
Some stay and make footprints
on our hearts .
And we are never, never the same."



Have faith in GOD because is our creator and he know what to do.

GOD:
          The supernatural being conceived as the perfect and omnipotent and omniscient originator and ruler of the universe

Nine words women use...

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.


2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.


3.)Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!


5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)


6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a wom a n
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you're welcome.


8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!


9.) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's
wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN!


my girl friend use around  seven words but instead of using five minutes she use two minutes. im very lucky because i dont wanna wait for five minutes.....

share your view through comments

Reasons to love a woman...

* You can feel her care in the form of sister.
* You can feel her warmth in the form of friend.
*You can feel her dedication in the form of wife.
*You can feel her divinity in the form of mother
*You can feel her blessings on the form of Grandmother.
*Yet She is tough too....
*Her heart is too tender.
*So naughty
*So charming
*So sharing
*So melodious
*She is WOMEN

A Beautiful Story

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out
to dinner and a movie. She said I love you but I know this other woman
loves you and would love to spend some time with you.



The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has
been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three
children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.



That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.



"What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman
who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign
of bad news.



"I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I
responded. "Just the two of us."



She thought about it for a moment, and then Said, "I would like that
very much."



That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit
nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to
be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She
had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to
celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was
as radiant as an angel's.



"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were
impressed, "she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear
about our meeting".



We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and
cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat
down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half
way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there
staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.



"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she
said.



"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I
responded.



During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing
extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We
talked so much that we missed the movie.



As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again,
but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.



"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home.



"Very nice, Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.



A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened
so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.



Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant
receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.



An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that
I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you
and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant
for me. I love you, son."



At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE
YOU!" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in
life is more important than your family. Give them the time they
deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."



Pass this along to everyone with an aging parent, to a child, to an
adult, to anyone with a parent. Here's hoping today is better than
yesterday and tomorrow is even better!





I used to say, "I sure hope things will change. "Then I learned that the
only way things are going to change for me is when I change.

13 Things About You

1. Someone in this world Loves you , in some way.


2. A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone, even if they
don't like you.

3. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to
sleep.

4. You mean the world to someone.

5. Without you , someone may not be living.

6. You are special and unique , in your own way.

7. Someone that you don't know even exists , loves you.


8. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes
from it.


9. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a
look, you most likely turned your back on the world.


10. When you think you have no chance at getting what you want,
you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself,
you probably sooner or later will get it.


11. Always remember complements you received, forget about the
rude remarks.


12. Always tell someone how you feel about them, you will feel
much better when t! hey know.


13.If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know
that they are great. If you choose, send this letter to as
many people as you care about, you'll brighten up someone's
day, and might change their perspective on life, for the better!

!!!Coca Cola Classic !!!

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East
assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the
Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was
very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is
virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So,
I planned to convey the message through 3 posters...
First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally
exhausted and panting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and
Third,our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over
the place"
"That should have worked," said the friend.
The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also
didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left..."

21 THINGS COMMON TO ALL ENGG COLLEGES

1). The lecturers dont teach.The students dont
study.The only guy who benefits is the one who owns
the 'dhaba' next to the college.

2).Rules are made to be broken.

3).Promises are made to be broken.

4).Deadlines are made to be extended...ALWAYS!

5).Guys always think the chics in the college next
lane are more beautiful.

5).The geeks are the most pampered lot during the
internal exams.

6).The lab assistants are the most respected
people(during the lab exams i.e)

7).The watchmen are the people most bribed.

8).The HOD is the person most respected(heights of
sycophancy here).

9).The principal is the person most abused and
insulted(behind the back i.e)

10).Dropping subjects is 'cool'.(arre yaar..drop the
idea of dropping subjects plzz).

11).There is always a lecturer in the college who cant
speak proper 'english'.

12).Night-out is the second most important tool to ace
the exams.

13).All time u will be in debate with students of other
branch as their branch is d BEST.


14).The most important tool..the bhramastra..is the
'chit' in which the words can be understood only by
the person who wrote them(in most of the cases i.e)

15).The freshers are the most sought after..be it in
the canteen,the 'free' periods or for completing the
records,assignments.

16).One has to live in constant fear of a DROP all
through the engg carrier as according to new revised
stringent RULES any thing can happen to ANYONE.
(KISI KO KUCH BHI HO SAKTA HAI) .

17).The second-years are the ones with the 'I am the
don-of-the-college' feeling iff one not has MECHANICS KT of
1st sem.....( BAP of all papers of ENGG).

18).The third years are the ones with the
'so-many-backlogs' feeling and the poor souls get down
to studying after bossing around in the college
for so long.but the fun still continues.

19).The fourth years have no connection with the
college whatsoever...with no interest in
ragging,pulling each other`s legs,the bday parties,the
bday bums et al which they enjoyed so much till
now.All they want is a good placement and a
'1st-class' tag attached to their memo.

20).The first three years are spent in cursing the
college,the people there,the system et al.

21).But towards the end of the fourth year,people tend
to feel nostalgic abt the pure unadulterated fun they
have had for 4 years.Now the very system they
disliked,the very canteen they cursed,the time that
they spent there,the bday bums they suffered..all
these seem like heaven to them.


......................THIS THE HOW ENGINEERING
COMPLETES.................

Love & Ego ( Soooooo Sweet )

"Sometimes love is for a moment, sometimes love is for a lifetime.
Sometimes a moment is a lifetime."


Once upon a time there was an island ,



where all the feelings lived together .



One day there was a storm in the sea and the island was about to get drowned.


Every feeling was scared but Love made a boat to escape.



Every feeling boarded the boat . Only 1 feeling was left.



Love got down to see who it was...



It was EGO..


Love tried and tried but ego wasn't moving also the water was rising.



Every one asked love to leave him and come in the boat, but love was
made to love.


At last all the feelings escape and Love dies with ego on the island..



Love Dies because of EGO



So, Kill ego and Save Love

If you can...Crack It.(Just for fun)

Nice puzzle - try to crack it ...
Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers. One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, whoin turn took him to the court.The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in thecenter of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession. After a few m onths, this time, a good lo! oking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately,this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot. Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the
bus. This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences,
stopped

the b! us. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to
his

injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to

the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but
considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and
gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was again taken to the
same
electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center
of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was
strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This
time
he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!
The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died
instantly the third time??
Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is
perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again.
! Still you couldn't, Then see below.........

>think hard
common yaar tired. wanna know the answer????
ok........ there is the Answer............

During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor,
therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the third
time,
he
was a good conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he
died
!!!!!!!!
Ha Ha ha !!!!!!!! Obviously you gotta revise your science chapter
Electricity ???
, OK....Relax.....No violence please...!!!!!!